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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I think I can, I think I can...

Ever feel like you are "The Little Engine that Could"?

Ive decided that it is time for me to start a blog that is easy for people to follow. The shutterfly site I have is nice but uploading photos and making sure everyone has access is becoming hard. I really truly enjoy being able to post news about our daily life or just expressing emotions that build up in the day to day grind.

For the first time in a while I feel like things are leveling out. The whirlwind of adding Miss Kaylee Pauline to our family is calming down and Preslee is into a good groove with preschool and helping with her new sister. I had so many reservations and concerns about my lifestyle change while i was pregnant with Kaylee. I was worried that I would not be able to give Kaylee as much of my heart as I have given Preslee. I was worried that Preslee may not do well "sharing" Mommy and be sad and upset. And silly enough I was worried that having another child would put my girl P in the shadows and leave me torn between two lifes....the one I had and the one I have now. THANK GOODNESS none of that every came to be. I worried and worried over nothing. Its so hard when you are in the moment to not worry about things, and to just "know" things will be fine. I spent so much time scared and worried... now I look back and wish that I would have just had faith that it would all be ok and that God would take care of us.

The reason I bring that up is that today I had to make a really hard decision. It is not something I want to discuss per say, but I just want to put it out there that I am really trying to lean on my faith right now. I spent atleast 6 months debating what to do, and after many mnay nights of prayer and confiding in loved ones I made the decision that is best for my well being. Emotional stress sure can take a toll on me, and eliminating that one large bit of stress and turmoil has me breathing a little easier. I know that I have a long road ahead of me, however...this is a start to standing up for myself and not living each day with anxiety and fear over others actions.

So, there ya go... a new year and new resolutions. Im going to strive for happiness and continue to surround myself by those that lift me up. I am a role model for two beautiful girls..and I want to go to sleep at night knowing that Ive been the best example I can be. No matter what.

I think I can, I think I can....

1 comment:

  1. I know you can.

    I have a favorite if silly little song that keeps running through my head, "Why worry when you can pray"

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